A, Anger – Let go except what you can’t change.
In my journey of recovery from alcohol addiction, I’ve come to see how deeply anger used to shape my responses to the world. When things didn’t go my way, when people acted in ways I couldn’t control, I’d simmer with frustration. But through the programme of Alcoholics Anonymous, I’ve learned that anger is often a mask for fear or pain—and that holding onto it only hurts me. Today, I practise letting go of anger and accepting the things I cannot change. When I pause and breathe, I find peace on the other side of surrender.
R, Resentment – Living with a resentful mind stops you from enjoying what is right there at that moment.
Resentment was another poison I drank daily, hoping it would harm others, but it only harmed me. Living with a resentful mind robbed me of the present—it clouded my vision, made me bitter, and kept me from enjoying the people and gifts around me. In sobriety, I’ve realised that resentment is a choice, and it can be replaced with compassion and understanding. By making amends and forgiving—both others and myself—I’ve begun to live more freely, more lightly.
S, Self-Pity – Your negative mind feeding its self and keeping you from the world around you.
Self-pity was perhaps the most insidious of all. It made me the victim in every story, feeding my negative thinking and disconnecting me from reality. It was easier to feel sorry for myself than to take responsibility for my healing. But in recovery, I’ve found the courage to face life as it is. I now try to shift my perspective—when I feel low, I ask how I can help someone else instead. This small act lifts me out of myself and reconnects me to the world.
E, Expectations – Just stop expecting more, just be grateful you have what you have, and see everything else as a gift.
Expectations used to rule my thinking. I expected people to behave a certain way, situations to unfold according to my plans—and when they didn’t, I drank at the disappointment. But now I see that expectations are traps; they set me up for resentment and sadness. Today, I practise gratitude for what I do have, instead of focusing on what I think I deserve. When I view life as a gift rather than a transaction, everything changes.
Since learning through AA and the 12 steps to hand all of this over to my God, my Higher Power, each day now—for me—is much happier, even the challenging ones. I no longer sit on my A.R.S.E. all the time. I let go, I trust, and I walk forward in faith.
A.R.S.E.
Let anger fall like dry leaves in autumn.
Do not chase the wind,
it does not care for your shouting.
The world turns as it will;
your fury only scorches your own soil.
Let go,
except what you cannot.
Hold that with grace, not heat.
Even the mountain yields to time.
Resentment is a locked gate
that you hold shut with both hands,
while the garden of today
blooms quietly behind it.
Let go of the stories that chain you.
They are smoke.
Breathe the air instead.
Forgive, not to free them,
but to walk freely yourself.
Self-pity is a shadow that grows
the longer you sit still.
It whispers, “You are alone,”
but it lies.
Look up.
The sky has never stopped being vast.
Reach out.
There is always a hand to hold,
if you first offer yours.
Expectations are mirages,
on the road of the mind.
You run toward them,
and are left thirsty.
Be still.
Drink from the well of what is.
Gratitude does not seek more,
it kneels,
and finds abundance where it stands.
I used to sit on my A.R.S.E.,
and the world spun without me.
Now I rise.
I hand it all over,
the rage, the ache, the wanting.
I walk the Way,
the Way that asks nothing
but surrender.
Even the hard days
hold a soft edge
if I trust.
Even the silence
sings
if I listen.
