Tao Te Ching – Chapter Twenty-Two
Written by Lao-tzu – From a translation by S. Mitchell
If you want to become whole,
let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight,
let yourself be crooked.
If you want to become full,
let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn,
let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything,
give everything up.
The Master, by residing in the Tao,
sets an example for all beings.
Because he doesn't display himself,
people can see his light.
Because he has nothing to prove,
people can trust his words.
Because he doesn't know who he is,
people recognize themselves in him.
Because he has no goal in mind,
everything he does succeeds.
When the ancient Masters said,
"If you want to be given everything, give everything up,"
they weren’t using empty phrases.
Only in being lived by the Tao can you be truly yourself.
How I Read This Chapter
To be whole,
first admit you are broken.
To be strong,
allow yourself to defenceless.
To be full,
empty out what no longer serves.
To live again,
let the old self die.
This is the paradox of the Way,
what we try to avoid,
is often the very path to freedom.
The Master doesn’t posture or push.
they don’t strive to be special.
And because they have let go,
they become a mirror,
people see themselves in them.
They surrender to the Way,
and so they become truly themself.
Not by claiming identity,
but by releasing it.
Not by chasing success,
but by stepping aside and letting the Way move through them.
What This Means To Me
This chapter holds some of the deepest truths I’ve come to discover in recovery—truths I would never have believed when I was drinking. I thought strength meant having it all together. I thought success meant being right. I thought I had to fight to be whole, prove I was worthy, cling tightly to who I was. But this path has shown me something completely different: if I want to be whole, I must first admit my brokenness.
That’s what Step One is. It’s what happens the moment I say, “I can’t do this anymore.” It’s the surrender that doesn’t weaken me, but begins to set me free. The paradoxes in this chapter used to sound like riddles. Now they sound like wisdom etched into the bones of anyone who’s walked through darkness and come out the other side.
“If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.” That was my experience. I had to pour out everything I was clinging to—my excuses, my secrets, my resentments, my ego, my deluded plans. I had to become willing to have nothing in order to receive something real. And in that emptiness, grace began to flow in.
“If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.” I had to let go of the versions of myself I had built through addiction. Those characters were clever, tough, wounded, prideful, afraid—and tired. Letting those self’s go felt like dying. But on the other side was not nothingness—it was life. Not perfect, not easy, but honest. Real.
This chapter also reminds me of how different true leadership looks in recovery. “Because he doesn’t display himself, people can see his light.” The people I admire most in the rooms aren’t the loudest. They don’t dominate conversations or give polished advice. They show up. They listen. They speak from the heart. They aren’t trying to shine—but their presence lights the way.
“Because he has nothing to prove, people can trust his words.” That’s the kind of recovery I want. I don’t need to convince anyone I’m doing okay. I just need to live the truth. When I stop needing to be impressive, I become trustworthy. When I stop needing to be seen, I become truly visible.
“Only in being lived by the Tao can you be truly yourself.” That line echoes something I’ve learned through the Steps: the more I let go of running my own life, the more I discover who I really am. Not the versions I performed. Not the versions shaped by fear or fantasy. But the quiet, grounded self that emerges when I stop striving.
Today, I don’t need to chase wholeness.
I find it by letting go.
I don’t need to know who I am in every moment.
I just need to stay close to the Source that keeps me honest, open, and free.
And when I forget, I come back to this truth:
If I want to be given everything, I must be willing to give everything up.
