In the past, I used to see the world through a very narrow lens. I believed everything was wrong, never realising that the problem was me. I couldn’t even consider that other people might be right. The moment I began accepting life on life’s terms was a huge turning point in my recovery.
Here’s an example of how wrong I used to be and how much my thinking has changed. I would judge people at face value, comparing myself to them and making myself feel better by thinking I was somehow better. There was a guy I used to see around my neighbourhood, and I thought he was a complete mess—always with a bag of booze, looking like he’d been sleeping rough, either drunk or passed out on a bench. I’d often pass him by as he threw away his empty cans and bottles, and all I could think was how disgusting that was.
But I was the real hypocrite. Shortly after seeing him, I’d sit in my car, quietly finishing the last of my whisky before heading into work. Later in the day, I’d sneak off to dispose of the empty bottle in my own secret bin, making room for the next one in my hiding spot. I was so deep in alcoholism that I could only see the flaws in others while ignoring the glaring issues in my own life.
Now, living the AA way, I sit in rooms with people who remind me of that man. I listen to their stories, and you know what? There’s not much difference between them and me. We all have the same illness. We’re all powerless over alcohol. We’re like “Pringles drinkers”—once we pop, we can’t stop. The only real difference is that they aren’t me, and I’m not them. I’ve been incredibly lucky—my parents never gave up on me, my family barely held on, and I somehow managed to hide how lost I was at work, so I didn’t lose my job. If any of those things had gone differently, I could’ve easily been that guy with a bag of booze, passed out on a bench.
My perspective has changed for good. I no longer judge anyone at face value. I don’t make comparisons. Instead, I open my eyes and my heart, recognising that we’re all on our own journeys. I’ve been fortunate, and I’m grateful for that every single day.
A Narrow Lens
Once, through a tunnel, dark and blind,
I saw the world, a skewed and twisted sight.
All others wrong, their paths unaligned,
While I alone held virtue’s guiding light.
But in my heart, a festering disease,
A silent poison, slowly sapped my soul.
I couldn’t see the truth, my mind at ease,
Blind to my flaws, my spirit lost, out of control.
I judged the man who stumbled, lost and lone,
A blight upon the street, a sorry sight.
Yet I, too, hid my darkness, all unknown,
A secret shame, a burden heavy as night.
But now I see, with eyes that have been freed,
A common bond, a shared humanity.
We’re all adrift, on life’s tumultuous sea,
And each must find their own salvation’s key.
