My mum was my rock. Her unwavering faith in God and her endless faith in me were the cornerstones of her life. She spent my entire life building a foundation of love and spirituality for me, one that she constantly strengthened, even when I did everything in my power to destroy what I had built upon it. For most of my life, I stubbornly chose to build my world on shifting sand instead of the solid rock my mum had so carefully provided. I was determined to prove her God wrong, no matter the cost.

Through all of this, my mum was always there when my life fell apart, especially when my addiction to alcohol dragged me into darkness time and time again. No matter how broken I became, she stood by me, her love unwavering, her belief in me unshaken. She was my lifeline when I couldn’t see a way out, offering the stability and hope I so desperately needed but often refused to accept.

Today, I am profoundly grateful that my mum never gave up on me. Even after her physical body left this world, her spirit, her love, and her words have remained with me. They’ve been my guide every step of the way as I’ve worked to rebuild my life this year. It feels as though she has been by my side as I’ve laid each brick on the deep foundation she created within me, a foundation I now cherish and rely on.

This year, for the first time, I am celebrating my mum’s birthday without running headlong into oblivion to escape my feelings. I had expected this day to be filled with loss, pain, regret, and remorse. But instead of those emotions, my heart is overflowing with gratitude—gratitude for my mum, for her unshakable love, and for the fact that she never gave up on me.

I am also deeply grateful to be sober today. I know that I wouldn’t have made it this far in my journey without the love and support of my new fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous, my sponsor, my beautiful family, my God, and my mum’s ever-present spirit. Each of them has played a vital role in helping me find the strength to keep moving forward, one day at a time. Today, I stand on the foundation my mum built within me, filled with hope, faith, and love.

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Thank You Mum

The rock, my mother,
unwavering faith, a beacon in the storm.
Her love, a steady hand,
guiding my uncertain steps.

Sand castles crumble,
swept away by tides of doubt.
I, a defiant architect,
building on shifting ground.

Proving Her God wrong,
a futile, self-destructive game.
Ignoring the foundation,
the strength on spiritual ground.

But the rock remained,
even when her body succumbed.
Her spirit, her guiding might,
her love, an enduring claim.

Each brick laid with care,
on the foundation she had sown.
Her words, a constant echo,
"You are strong, you are loved."

Now, gratitude washes over me,
for her unwavering belief.
The sand castles fade,
replaced by a structure of grace.

Built on the rock,
unshakeable, enduring.
A testament to her love,
a legacy that forever sustains.