There are so many things in my life now that I feel proud of. My children, my work achievements—things I can’t quite explain how they came to be. For the longest time, I lived with the constant fear that I could lose everything, including my life, at any moment. And yet, somehow, I didn’t. But before I reached the point of complete surrender and walked through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), I wasn’t able to see any of that. My entire world was narrowed down to one thing: the bottle, and my next drink.
As the saying goes, “Pride comes before a fall.” Through working the 12 steps in AA, I learned that for many, pride can be a dangerous path to self-destruction. The Big Book of AA, with its wealth of hard-earned wisdom, warns that pride can be a barrier to humility. It can lead to fear, resentment, and strain on relationships. It warns that pride can close us off from the spiritual principles necessary for recovery. Before I started working the steps, I didn’t think I had an issue with pride. I thought pride wasn’t my problem, but I was so wrong. It turned out that pride was at the very heart of my ego, a driving force that kept me focused on myself. I wore so many different masks to protect that pride—constantly changing who I was depending on who I was around, all to ensure that my ego was fed and protected.
Today, things are very different. The things and people I am proud of aren’t about me anymore. I take pride in the people I love, the ones who stood by me as I clawed my way out of the dark pit of addiction. I have pride in those who keep showing up to AA meetings even after years of sobriety, because they not only still need the support, but they want to be there for newcomers. They show them that the program works, that there is light and hope waiting for them if they can just surrender and let it in. And I have pride in the people who truly care, who continue to help others along their own recovery journeys.
There is one thing that I did, though, that I am deeply proud of—finding the courage to walk through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous and ask for help. Since that day, although many aspects of my life have remained the same, I have changed completely as a person. The life that was once filled with pain, fear, and despair is now overflowing with happiness, joy, gratitude, love, and friendship.
Each day is a gift, and that’s why they call it the present. Be Grateful you have it
Pride’s Fall
Once trapped in fear, a prisoner of the bottle,
My life a barren wasteland, void of throttle.
A world consumed by darkness, deep and wide,
My spirit crushed, my hope had died.
But then I found a path, a guiding light,
A chance to break free from endless night.
Through AA's doors, I stepped into the day,
And found a way to cast my fears away.
Pride, a mask I wore, a heavy chain,
Had bound my heart, caused me such pain.
But with the steps, I learned to let it go,
And let true humility start to grow.
Now, gratitude and love fill up my heart,
As I watch others find a brand new start.
In helping them, I find my purpose clear,
And every day, I'm filled with hope and cheer.
