Tao Te Ching – Chapter Sixty–Eight
Written by Lao-tzu – From a translation by S. Mitchell
The best athlete,
wants his opponent at his best.
The best general,
enters the mind of his enemy.
The best businessman,
serves the communal good.
The best leader,
follows the will of the people.
All of them embody,
the virtue of non-competition.
Not that they don’t love to compete,
but they do it in the spirit of play.
In this they are like children,
and in harmony with the Tao.
How I Read This Chapter
The highest form of mastery,
is rooted in generosity.
It doesn’t dominate - it elevates.
It doesn’t win by force,
but through awareness.
It doesn’t crush the other,
but seeks connection.
True strength flows from humility.
True leadership follows what is already rising.
And true competition,
is play,
not war.
What This Means To Me
This chapter really speaks to how my relationship with competition has changed in recovery. Because for much of my life, I didn’t even realise I was competing – I just thought I wasn’t good enough. I compared myself constantly, especially when I felt
insecure or lost. I didn’t want to beat other people, not really – I just didn’t want to feel behind. Or invisible. Or worthless.
And whether it was in work, friendships, day-to-day life itself – there was this quiet desperation: to be seen, to be liked, to be better than I felt. That anxiety was exhausting. And alcohol helped me escape it for a while, even as it deepened the wounds.
“Not that they don’t love to compete, but they do it in the spirit of play.” That line is a revelation. I used to take everything so seriously. Every interaction could feel like a test. Every mistake, a defeat. But recovery – particularly through service and spiritual growth – has helped me loosen that grip. These days, I’m learning to approach life with more playfulness. More curiosity. Less fear. I don’t have to win. I just have to show up.
I’ve found this shift especially in work and service. In the past, I wanted to prove myself. Now, I just want to contribute. I want to be useful. I want others to succeed, even if it means stepping aside or sharing the spotlight. That’s freedom.
“The best general enters the mind of his enemy.” This reminds me of something I learned in Step Four and Step Nine – when I really started to understand the people I’d resented. Instead of seeing them as threats or adversaries, I started to ask, What pain were they carrying? What fear? That shift toward empathy changed everything. I still practise it today. Compassion disarms conflict.
“The best leader follows the will of the people.” This is such a powerful reversal of the old ego-driven model. In recovery, I’ve learned that leadership isn’t about control – it’s about listening. Supporting. Making space. Whether I’m sponsoring someone or just being there for a friend, I try to follow what’s needed, not impose what I think is best.
And there’s joy in this way of living. Not just peace – but joy. Like the Tao says, it’s a return to childlike play. Not naive, not careless – but light, and free, and awake.
Because when I’m in harmony with the Tao, I’m not trying to “win” at life – I’m just living it. Fully. Freely. Together with others. And having fun
