44 days into my recovery from the illness of alcoholism I have started to get some odd feeling and emotions, with my mind really playing tricks on me. I have had feelings of loss almost like mourning the loss of a loved one, the main emotion being grief, and my mind telling me that it wasn’t that bad, reminding me of all the so-called good times drunk, but with the new tools that I have already started to learn I have been able to sit and observe my feelings, emotions, and mind, not acting on these but processing them, and seeing them for what they actually are.
I can quite gratefully say that these thoughts have now gone away and I’m currently making a cup of tea, then off to the meeting later to talk this through with the fellowship, and after that off to bed, my head on the pillow sober.
One more day done.
Forty-four days, a sober climb,
Yet phantoms dance, a twisted rhyme.
A grief unwinds, a mournful sigh,
As if a friend, I had to die.
The whispers rise, a tempting song,
Of laughter shared, where nights went long.
"It wasn't bad," the memory taunts,
A gilded cage, where freedom haunts.
But tools newfound, a guiding light,
I watch the storm, and hold on tight.
Emotions flow, a churning sea,
But reason whispers, "Let them be."
These echoes fade, the truth takes hold,
A hollow shell, that story's told.
With steady gaze, I pierce the veil,
And watch the ghosts of drink turn pale.
