So, on my journey of sobriety with AA the word “Fear” is very common, and is linked to pretty much every bad emotion, feeling, or trait that I have, that feeds my anxiety and inner dialogue, and then ultimately to drink. Most people connect the word “Fear” to the standard definition that is as follows.

“Fear is a fundamental human emotion that triggers a response to danger, whether physical or emotional. It’s an unpleasant feeling that warns us of potential threats and motivates us to act in ways that keep us safe.”

noun
An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
"I cowered in fear as bullets whizzed past."

verb
Be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or harmful. "I hated him but didn't fear him anymore."

But when it comes to feeling lost, alone, not good enough, like you never fully fit in, a complete failure, and so on, fear go’s a lot deeper, it attaches itself to everything you do and say, you also project it on other people and situations.

Many spiritual traditions view fear as an obstacle on the path to enlightenment or a deeper connection with the divine or higher power.

Here are some common themes:

• Fear as an illusion: Some spiritual paths see fear as an illusion that stems from our limited perspective. We fear the unknown, what we can’t control, or losing things we hold dear. From a spiritual standpoint, these attachments and anxieties might be seen as a veil obscuring a deeper reality.

• Fear vs. faith: Many traditions emphasize faith and trust in a higher power. Fear can be seen as the opposite of faith, a lack of belief that things will ultimately work out for the greater good. Letting goes of fear and embracing faith allows us to surrender to a larger plan.

• The ego and fear: Some spiritual teachings talk about the ego, the part of us that identifies with the physical self and craves security. Fear often arises from the ego’s desire for control and its fear of anything that threatens its sense of self. Spiritual growth often involves weakening the ego’s hold and connecting with a deeper, more universal sense of self.

• Facing fear, not avoiding it: Some spiritual paths don’t see the goal as eliminating fear entirely. Instead, they emphasize facing fear with courage and learning from it. By confronting our fears, we can become stronger and more resilient.

To be totally honest, I think that all of these are correct, because since surrendering and letting go after my last rock bottom, I have faced some of my fears, started working on letting go of my ego (or keeping an eye on it), I definitely now know my higher power, and I’m getting to know it better every day, the only thing I try and control each day is myself, and guess what, my anxiety and inner dialogue are a lot quieter, and some days are not even there. Best of all I don’t have as much fear.

Ok so here we go, here’s my poetic contemplation….

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The Unmasking of Fear

Fear. A word worn thin on my lips, 
a constant hum in the background of my being. 
It used to be a monster, 
a shapeless dread that fuelled every bad feeling, 
every self-doubt. It latched onto loneliness, 
whispering I wasn't good enough, a failure adrift.

But the dictionary definition, 
the one about danger and bullets whizzing past, 
that's just the tip of the iceberg. 
It's deeper, 
a tangled mess that coloured everything. 

Fear of failing, fear of rejection, 
fear of being the odd one out. 
It bled into my interactions, 
a projection onto others, 
making them seem cold or distant.

Then came the whispers of a different truth. 
Fear, some say, 
a veil obscuring a greater reality. 
A defence mechanism of the ego, 
clinging to control, 
terrified of the unknown.
 
But what if I let go? What if I surrendered, 
embraced a higher power greater than my anxieties?

It wasn't easy. It still isn't. 
But slowly, 
facing fears head-on, 
the monster begins to shrink. 
Each step, 
a battle won. 
The ego's grip loosened. 

My voice grew a little stronger, 
the inner chatter a little quieter.
Fear hasn't vanished entirely. 
Maybe it never will. But now,
it's a voice I recognize, 
one I can choose not to listen to.

It's a reminder of the journey, 
the battles fought and scars earned.
Today, I control myself, 
not the world. 
And in that control, 
I find a newfound peace. 

The fear may still whisper, 
but the roar of courage is louder now.