Today, I came across something that truly resonated with me, adding depth to my ongoing reflections on love. Love has always been a perplexing concept for me. I knew my mother loved me unconditionally while she was alive, and my father continues to love me deeply. My wife and children love me, and I love them with all my heart. But why did this never seem enough? Why was I perpetually unhappy and yearning for more? This dissatisfaction always drove me to escape my feelings with alcohol.
The simple answer, revealed in just three short paragraphs, was that I needed to love myself. I spent so much of my life feeling inadequate, always wishing to be a better, different person. Since embarking on the AA 12-step program and committing each day to accomplishing the tasks on my “just for today” card, I have discovered a newfound appreciation “love” for the person I am today. I am becoming a better person—a better version of myself—and it’s more than okay to feel that way.
Reflecting on this, I realise that self-love is not just about accepting who I am but also about recognising my worth and contributions. By loving myself, I’ve unlocked a reservoir of inner peace and contentment that I never knew existed. This self-love has also had ripple effect, influencing my interactions with others. When you genuinely appreciate and care for yourself, it creates a kind of aura—a radiance of love and happiness that others can sense and seem to absorb.
Here’s what I read
Appreciating your own goodness
If you find it difficult to show yourself compassion, try spending five or ten minutes reflecting on your positive traits or achievements. It’s worth a shot; it won’t cause any harm!
In Western society, there’s a cultural reluctance to praise oneself. Instead, we often dwell on our flaws, which leads to feelings of contraction and fear. The old adage, “Pride goes before a fall,” implies that feeling good about yourself or your accomplishments can lead to your downfall. The critical voice of a parent asking, “Who do you think you are?” can unintentionally instil shame and self-doubt.
However, contrary to what other people in your past might have suggested, it’s perfectly fine to feel happiness, pride and love for yourself. By concentrating on your positive attributes, you create positive, expansive feelings that benefit both you and those around you. As the Buddha wisely noted, “Joy is the gateway to nirvana.”
Meditation For Dummies, 2nd Edition by Stephan Bodian
Unveiling the Heart
Love, a riddle, complex and deep,
Surrounded by a yearning to keep.
A mother’s grace, a father’s art,
A wife’s devotion, a child’s heart.
Yet, an emptiness, a haunting void,
In shadows of discontent employed.
Alcohol’s embrace, a fleeting guise,
To mask the truth, to dim the eyes.
But in a moment, clarity’s gleam,
Revealed the root of my life’s dream.
Self-love, the missing, vital part,
To heal the wounds, to mend the heart.
With every step, a newfound grace,
A growing strength, a brighter space.
No longer lost in self-doubt’s haze,
I find myself in clearer days.
Worth and value, a precious find,
A peaceful spirit, a centred mind.
This love, a beacon, warm and bright,
Shines outward, casting healing light.
A ripple’s touch, a gentle art,
Inspiring others, heart to heart.
In self-love’s embrace, I truly see,
The fullness of life’s melody.
