I’m sitting in my late mum’s flat, surrounded by the remnants of her life, all piled up and waiting for the rubbish removal men to come and take it all away. The flat needs to be cleared so it can be sold, but as I sit here, the word “rubbish” sticks in my throat. It hurts to think of these items that once filled this space with warmth and love as mere trash. To my mum, each piece of furniture, every knickknack, had a special place in her life and in this flat. When everything was in its place, this was a sanctuary—a loving home where I could always come, no matter what was happening in my life, and feel safe and loved. The memories these items hold are powerful, both good and bad, and letting go of them feels like letting go of pieces of the life my mum and I shared together.
As I sat here waiting, overwhelmed by emotion, I found myself praying, asking for the strength to let go. Just as I finished my prayer, my phone buzzed. It was a message from one of my friends from AA, a funny picture accompanied by a wish for a wonderful day. I couldn’t help but laugh at the timing. It felt like a sign, a little reminder that I wasn’t alone in this moment. It also brought to mind a verse from the “Just for Today” meditation: “Just for today I will be happy. Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” In that moment, something shifted inside me. I realised that I had a choice in how I approached this situation. I could sit here and wallow in sadness, or I could choose to let go, accepting that what needs to happen will happen.
As I reflected on why this was so difficult, it became clear that I had imbued this flat with a significance that went beyond the physical space. In my mind, it had become a sanctuary, a place where I felt close to my mum. But the reality was that it wasn’t the flat or the things in it that provided comfort; it was my mum’s unconditional love. That love is no longer tied to this place—it resides within me, always there whenever I choose to embrace it. The essence of what made this flat special wasn’t in the furniture or the trinkets; it was in the love that filled the space, a love that isn’t confined to walls or objects.
I realised then that these things, as precious as they once were, are just things. The items that held real meaning have found new homes with me or with other family members. What remains are just physical objects, and when we leave this world, we leave all the physical behind—including our own bodies. Understanding this has brought me a sense of peace. What truly matters in our short lives are not the possessions we accumulate, but the relationships we build, the love we share, and the contentment we find in each day. We make memories not by holding onto things, but by living fully in the present, with gratitude for the love and happiness we have.
Clearing the Nest
Amidst a clutter of memories, I sit,
A mournful ghost in my mother’s flat.
Surrounded by the remnants of her life,
A poignant tableau, a bittersweet strife.
The rubbish men will come, and all will be gone,
A space once filled with laughter, now forlorn.
Each item, once a cherished part of her,
Now destined for a landfill, a sombre blur.
How can I call these things mere trash?
To her, held a special, a loving cache.
A sanctuary, a haven, a place of peace,
Where I could find solace, my troubles would cease.
The memories they hold, a bittersweet tide,
A tapestry of joy and sorrow entwined.
To let them go, a piece of my heart to give,
A painful sacrifice, yet I must live.
Overwhelmed by grief, a prayer I make,
For strength to let go, for my spirit’s sake.
Just then, a message, a funny, light-hearted jest,
A reminder of friendship, a welcome guest.
A verse from "Just for Today" echoes in my mind,
A beacon of hope, a peace I find.
I have a choice, a path to choose,
To wallow in sorrow, or to refuse.
I realise then, this flat, a symbol of love,
A sanctuary, a gift from above.
But it’s not the things that hold the key,
It’s the love of my mum, that resides in me.
These objects, once precious, now merely things,
Their meaning has shifted, their purpose brings,
New homes, new lives, a different start,
A piece of my mother, a piece of my heart.
When we leave this world, we leave all behind,
Our bodies, our possessions, a fleeting time.
What truly matters, the love we impart,
The relationships we build, loving till we depart.
We make memories not by holding tight,
But by living fully, with all our might.
With gratitude for love and happiness found,
In the present moment, where joy is abound
