For years, I struggled with procrastination. I found myself stuck in a cycle of overthinking everything, no matter how small the task. Even the simplest things would seem overwhelming and impossible to tackle. This habit often led to frustration and ultimately caused me to give up altogether. In those moments, I turned to drinking as a way to escape my feelings of failure, worry, and remorse.

Recently, since I made the decision to abstain from alcohol, I’ve been trying my best to address tasks as soon as they come up. I want to be proactive and handle responsibilities right away. However, this approach hasn’t come without its challenges. Trying to keep up with everything can feel overwhelming and has made my days quite busy. I’ve realised that it’s difficult to maintain this momentum every single day, both at work and at home. There are times when certain tasks have to be postponed, and when that happens, old feelings of anxiety start creeping back in. I find myself at a crossroads, where the path to despair seems like a tempting option with each decision I face.

This week, I was faced with a tough choice: should I prioritise my work life and let my home life suffer, or the other way around? I caught myself falling into that familiar trap of overthinking, which began to cloud my judgement and overwhelm me. However, this time felt different. As the chaotic thoughts swirled around in my mind, I was able to step back and observe them. I recognised the pattern and quickly took action. I paused, meditated, and sought guidance from my God.

During that moment of reflection and stillness, I found clarity. I was able to see things for what they truly were, without the confusion that usually accompanies my racing thoughts. I remembered that I don’t have to manage everything on my own. It’s okay to ask for help, both in my work and personal life. I realised that when I keep my struggles to myself, others remain unaware of my worries and frustrations, and as a result, I may let them down when I can’t meet their expectations.

So today, while I may still have tasks that I’m tempted to put off, I’ve made a commitment not to bottle up my feelings. I’m determined to be open and honest with my family, friends, and colleagues about what I’m experiencing. I plan to communicate my feelings and reach out for support when I need it. By doing so, I hope to foster understanding and collaboration, rather than letting anxiety and isolation take hold.

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Conquering the Inner Storm

For years, the spectre of procrastination loomed,
A heavy weight upon my weary soul.
Each task, no matter how mundane or small,
Seemed insurmountable, a daunting goal.
Overthinking was my constant, cruel companion,
A fog that clouded reason, logic, sense.
Frustration, fear, and failure's bitter onion,
Would often drive me to despair and thence,
Into the solace of the bottle's deep,
A fleeting respite from the world's harsh sting.
But now, with sobriety, I strive to keep,
My thoughts in check, to make my spirit sing.

To tackle tasks as soon as they arise,
A noble goal, yet challenging to meet.
The pace of life can feel like a surprise,
A whirlwind that can leave my senses fleet.
To keep this momentum, day by day,
Is difficult, both at home and work.
Postponement's shadow often finds its way,
And old anxieties begin to lurk.

A crossroads looms, where darkness seems to creep,
A tempting path, a siren's deadly call.
This week, a choice, a burden to keep,
To balance work and life, to stand and fall.
The trap of overthinking took its hold,
A swirling maelstrom, clouding judgement's light.
Yet, in that chaos, a new strength unfold,
A moment's clarity, a beacon bright.

I paused, I meditated, sought above,
A guiding hand to steer me through the storm.
In stillness, peace, and God's eternal love,
I found a clarity, a newfound form.
I saw the truth, without the usual haze,
The weight of burdens, the need to share.
I don't have to shoulder life alone, I'll say,
It's okay to ask for help, to care.

So today, though tasks may tempt me to delay,
I'll speak my mind, my feelings I'll reveal.
No more bottling up, no more dismay,
I'll be transparent, honest, how I feel.
With open hearts and understanding's grace,
We'll build a bridge, together we'll mend.
No longer lost in isolation's space,
With love and support, we'll transcend.