This week has been quite turbulent. My job involves some really high-stress tasks, and this time I had to replace a piece of equipment that’s central to our entire UK team’s ability to work. It wasn’t just a simple swap either; it was a full upgrade, with new hardware I had to research, specify, and set up—all on my own. So, there was a lot of pressure to get it right.
After considerable time reviewing different options, I finally chose a device I felt would work, purchased it, and went home. That night, though, the self-doubt crept in. I worried: was it the right choice? Would it work? Could I set it up correctly? The overthinking took hold, and for nearly seven hours, I felt like I’d forgotten everything I’d learnt over the past eight months.
The next morning, though, I remembered to join the AA sunrise Step 11 Zoom meeting. We start with a silent ten-minute meditation, and after about five minutes, I felt my mind begin to settle. I started to feel like I was on the right track.
Later, the weather was perfect for sitting in my usual quiet spot in the church garden. As I meditated there, my mind was still wandering but less so, and I started to remember what I needed to do: hand it over. I’d done everything within my control, and now I just needed to let go. I found courage in trusting my Higher Power to give me the serenity to face the task ahead.
The night before the installation, I went through my routine and then prayed. I asked God to help me stay focused, not for personal gain, but so everything would go smoothly for the 268 people relying on me. That night, I slept better than I had in a while. The next morning, I didn’t skip the sunrise meeting, kept up my morning routine, and planned my day.
The installation went smoothly, with just one minor issue. Even when the network went down, I stayed calm, helping the team connect to mobile hotspots temporarily. When it was done, the managing director said, “Very well done. How did you stay so calm?” I was amazed and proud.
Reflecting on it later, I realised that every trigger was there—self-doubt, fear, overthinking, stress, and then pride, joy, and relief, with a hint of mental fatigue. In the past, this would’ve driven me straight to a drink. But not once did that thought cross my mind. For me, this experience was proof that “it works if you work it.” Hand it over, and trust that your Higher Power has your back.
A Test of Faith
This week, a tempest stirred within my mind,
A job of weight, a task of daunting height.
A vital piece, a cog of crucial kind,
To mend our team, to restore their working might.
No simple swap, no quick and easy fix,
But an upgrade, a challenge, steep and bold.
A labyrinth of choices, dark and thick,
A heavy burden, a lot to uphold.
I chose a path, a leap into the night,
A hope, a prayer, a wish, a desperate plea.
Doubt’s icy grip, a chilling, fearful sight,
A mind adrift, a soul lost at sea.
But morning came, a beacon’s gentle glow,
A silent space, a moment to restore.
A quiet peace, a steady, measured flow,
A chance to learn, to grow, to evermore.
A tranquil spot, a garden’s sacred ground,
A place to rest, a place to let go free.
A higher power, a solace ever sound,
A gift of grace, a gift of liberty.
A simple prayer, a humble, earnest plea,
Not for myself, but for the weary crew.
A peaceful night, a mind both calm and free,
A dawn of hope, a vision ever new.
The task was done, the challenge overcome,
A minor hiccup, a momentary fright.
A steady hand, a spirit straight and plumb,
A quiet strength, a beacon burning bright.
A whirlwind’s end, a lesson learned with care,
A test of faith, a triumph hard-won.
A sober soul, a life beyond compare,
A journey’s start, a race forever run.
