When I was younger, I used to complain whenever it was raining or cold outside. If a walk or some other outdoor activity was planned, I’d moan that it wasn’t the right weather for it. But my grandma would always say, “There’s no such thing as the wrong weather, just the wrong clothes.” That phrase used to irritate me so much. I couldn’t understand why my grandma didn’t just accept that some days weren’t meant for being outside. I thought she was just trying to be difficult, ignoring my obvious discomfort of wind, rain, or freezing temperatures.
Now, though, I completely get what she meant. Since I started my journey with AA, I’ve begun to see life through clearer eyes, and that old saying has taken on a whole new meaning for me. It’s not about the weather at all—it’s about perspective. I’ve changed the phrase in my mind to something that resonates more deeply with me now: “There’s no such thing as the wrong situation, just how you react to it.” Life is full of challenges, and I can’t always control what’s happening around me, but I can control how I deal with it. That shift in thinking has made a huge difference.
Since starting on my sober path, there have been plenty of tough situations. There have been bad days where nothing seemed to be going right, where I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, or just plain lost. In the past, those days would have felt unbearable, maybe even like an excuse to escape into old habits. But when I look at them through the lens of that phrase, I realise that the only reason they feel so bad is because I resist them. I expect things to go a certain way, and when they don’t, I struggle against it instead of adapting.
The truth is, no one is really in control of what happens around them. Life is unpredictable, and trying to control every outcome is impossible. The only thing I—or anyone else—can truly control is my own mind and thoughts. By recognising that, by focusing on managing my inner world rather than the outer one, I’ve found a sense of peace I never had before. It’s not always easy, but just like putting on the right clothes for the weather, adjusting my mindset makes all the difference.
Through AA, I’ve learned that my reactions shape my experiences far more than the situations themselves. Rain will fall whether I complain about it or not. Hard times will come whether I fight against them or learn from them. The choice is mine. And just like my grandma tried to tell me all those years ago, the “weather” of life isn’t what determines how I feel—it’s how I prepare for it and how I choose to face it.
No Wrong Situation, Wrong Reaction
The young voice, a thin reed,
complaining against the sky’s grey cloth,
the earth’s chill.
"Wrong weather," it cried, a brittle judgment.
Grandma's words, a worn garment,
"No wrong weather, wrong clothes."
A phrase, a stone in the mouth,
irritating, unyielding, a stubborn truth ignored.
Now, the eyes clear, the fog lifted,
the old saying, a seed sprouted,
roots reaching deep.
"No wrong situation, wrong reaction."
The rain falls, indifferent to complaint,
the cold wind bites, unconcerned with resistance.
Life, a tempest, unpredictable, untamed.
To struggle, to fight, is to drown,
to clothe the spirit in thin cloth,
shivering, exposed.
AA’s path, a slow unfurling,
the inner landscape, a map revealed.
Control, a phantom, chased in vain.
The mind, a garden, tended with care,
thoughts, the seeds, reactions, the harvest.
Peace, not in the stilling of the storm,
but in the weaving of a warm, inner cloak.
The bad days, once mountains, now pebbles,
a lesson in the shifting sands.
To adapt, to yield, is not weakness,
but strength, a quiet knowing.
Like choosing wool for winter's bite,
or linen for summer's heat,
the spirit chooses its garment.
Not the weather, but the heart’s readiness,
defines the journey.
Rain falls, lessons learned,
the cold, a reminder of inner warmth.
The choice, always the choice,
to dress the soul, correctly, and walk on.
