As usual, my daily experiences got the cogs in my brain turning, so I had to write them down—mostly so I remember. This particular train of thought started yesterday while watching my son play football with his team. They were up against tough opposition, but despite the challenge, they never gave up. In fact, they stepped up their game, working together to stop each of the opposing team’s attacks. In the end, my son’s team lost 3-2, but it could have been a much higher goal count in the opposition’s favour. Thanks to their tenacious teamwork, they defended their goal fiercely and even came close to equalising.
While this battle unfolded on the pitch, I stood on the sidelines talking with another recovering alcoholic. As we watched the game, I realised that, just like my son’s team, we too were working together for a common goal—our sobriety. Through most of my life, I wasn’t much of a team player. Of course, when I had to work with others at my job, I did, but I found it frustrating. I always thought I could do things better on my own, so what was the point of asking someone else? I believed I didn’t need anyone. How wrong I was.
That mindset left me isolated. I had no real friends, and very few colleagues enjoyed working with me. It’s crazy to think that I used to wonder, Why does no one seem to like me? Looking back, the answer was painfully obvious—I was a self-righteous, opinionated, nearsighted alcoholic who believed everything should be done my way. If it wasn’t done my way, it was wrong.
But recovery has taught me that sobriety, like football, is not a solo sport. When I reflected on my old attitude and compared it to the football match I had just watched, something clicked. What if one of my son’s teammates had the same narrow mindset? What if he decided he could win the game all on his own—never passing, never supporting, never defending? He would have struggled, if not failed entirely. And without his presence in the back line, the whole team would have suffered.
That’s exactly what happens in recovery when we try to do it alone. Left to our own devices, we falter. We get stuck in our heads, convinced we know best, and before we know it, we’re back in old patterns, feeling lost and hopeless. But when we lean on others—when we ask for help, share our struggles, and accept guidance—we stand a much better chance of staying sober. Surrounding ourselves with strong teammates in recovery is essential. We need people who lift us up, challenge us, and keep us accountable. We need people who understand, because they’ve been where we are.
In AA, we’re given the gift of a team—a fellowship of people who fight alongside us. Whether it’s our sponsor, our home group, or the person sitting next to us at a meeting, these are our teammates. They remind us to pass the ball when we’re holding on too tightly, to defend when life takes a shot at us, and to step up when someone else is struggling. Alone, we are vulnerable. Together, we are strong.
Recovery, like football, is a team effort. And I’m finally learning how to play the game the right way.
The Team, Carries You Forward
A single drop of rain, alone,
a fleeting jewel, lost in the dust,
evaporates, a whisper of what might have been.
The self, a lone mountain,
jagged, proud, unyielding,
resists the wind, the storm,
cracks, splinters, crumbles,
a monument to its own demise.
But let that drop join the river,
a flowing, surging current,
carving canyons, nourishing fields,
a force that shapes the very earth.
Let the lone mountain become a range,
a mosaic of peaks, valleys, forests,
each part supporting the whole,
a symphony of stone and life.
The hand, alone, grasps at shadows,
strains, aches, closes on emptiness.
The hands, joined, weave a net,
lift burdens, build shelters, create beauty,
a strength woven from shared purpose.
The voice, alone, a lonely echo,
lost in the vast silence.
The voices, harmonized, a chorus,
a wave of sound that moves mountains,
a song that fills the void.
The mind, alone, a flickering candle,
easily extinguished by doubt and fear.
The minds, united, a constellation,
a brilliance that illuminates the darkness,
a map to navigate the unknown.
To yield is not weakness,
but the wisdom of water,
finding the path of least resistance,
becoming the force that shapes the world.
To join is not surrender,
but the embrace of the whole,
finding strength in shared purpose,
becoming the architects of dreams.
The lone traveller stumbles, falls,
lost in the labyrinth of self.
The team, a flowing river,
carries all forward,
towards the boundless ocean of possibility.
